Grief is not rational: it is a pain, a great pain -- not in one's mind, but in the heart, the soul, at the core of one's being.
It numbs the emotions, diminishes spontaneity, isolates.
Grief signals loss -- of what we do and who we are, of self, of a relationship.
Grief resides in the conscious and the unconscious, in dreams, in thoughts, in feelings - that which is which can be brought to the outlsi.
Grief does not melt away.
It must be felt, experienced, and expressed in order to be resolved.
Often people who are filled with grief expend a great deal of energy suppressing it, as expressing grief causes pain and generally is not welcomed by others.
As much as grief is suppressed, so are the other emotiones we might experience.
Only people who feel and express their grief recover from it.
David Kuhl, MD
Dr. David Kuhl is a UBC Professor in the Faculty of Medicine in the Departments of Family Practice and Urologic Sciences.